I Am Breaking All the Rules Right Now.
I am a South African living in the Northern Hemisphere; it’s mid-April and I cannot remember the last time I felt the sun on my neck or the need to wear sunglasses. Right now, I don’t want to write or think or work in earnest. I don’t want anything to do with anything of BIG consequence or import to many. It is supposed to be spring. I’m thinking of home.
I long to pick out my favorite petit fours—all pretty in their pale-pink and green-and-lavender glace’d uniforms, secret-creamy plump, primping in their frilly paper wrappers, all neat and aligned, row after marching row, in shiny cases at Anglo Swiss Bakery. My hometown bakery, where wrap-around cloth awnings work to shade displayed cakes from the baking afternoon sun. Where the chrome-on-glass door is cool to the touch and heavy as the bell tinkles and the marble comes to meet your feet.
And on a whim I Google, get a number, and phone: “Hello.” “Anglo Swiss Bakery?” He hears a little bit of the international phone line static; he is gentle with me when he says, “they closed 15 years ago.”
“Who are you,” he asks? “What’s your name?” “Yes, that’s right; I remember your parents.” It’s Tim Mason. He owned the men’s clothing store down the road. Tim has now moved the store into the old bakery space.
He tells me I wouldn’t recognize Benoni anymore; “Nothing is the same.” But then indulges me. “What do you feel like from your Anglo Swiss Baker, today?”
“I want the smell of baked sugar. I want the perspective of a seven-year-old looking at bright magic. I want to take a box of petit fours home fastened tight with white string.” He wants “a custard slice.” We both laugh and pause.
Thank you, Mr. Mason, for a magic, spring moment when everything felt warm and that knowing it was all going to be ok.
Now to work.
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Anybody else had a special moment today? An experience when it felt that things opened up for a bit? When following feelings and inclinations allowed the magic to appear? When things were suddenly more meaningful, more sacred?
Sweet Leanne-how magical this post is! I believe we have these magical moments daily, yet are too distracted to notice. Your description was so moving I could see and smell and even taste what you were missing. The lesson–stop now and listen, feel and be grateful for what the Universe is whispering. I experience miracles beyond measure and hope I recognize a few. Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts and longings. You have touched us all and we will be a little truer to ourselves because of you. Smiles!! Linda
Leanne,
Loved the article! So much magic and sacred memories of youth.
My 23-year-old son surprised us by driving in from Rochester for Easter late Saturday night and went right back after church and brunch with the family. After he left, I had a magic memory about when both of my boys were little, dressed up for Easter in these cute shorts with suspenders, dress shirts, bow ties and Buster Brown shoes. The 23-year-old, now over 6 feet tall, was a chubby 18-month-old with wispy dark hair (he’s got the thickest hair now) and he was standing on a sofa in the lobby of Sheraton Station Square, holding on to the back pillow. A young woman was dressed in a full Easter bunny suit with a basket of candy. Dean just loved her; his laughter was infectious and his big round eyes (he had to grow into those eyes) dancing with light. How simple and joyous life felt then!
Leanne, what a beautiful recollection you shared here! You’re so right – magic can happen when we follow those inclinations!
Oh Lee, so loved this. The longing, the need to connect with what once was…..
Last week I too put aside all work and escaped to spend a few days in the warm autumn sun at beautiful Paternoster – it was balm to the soul. It seems like there is a universal longing to stop ‘doing’ for a moment and reconnect with parts of ourselves that we have lost sight of. Sending you love from SA.
Leanne…I loved your post…made me think of shopping for white patent leather shoes with anklet fold over socks with a ruffle and perhaps gloves and an Easter Bonnet….and remembering a corsage being held chilled in the ‘fridge from my dad till Sunday morning Mass.
I am put to task on this dreary day to immediately find a pair of “big girl” white patent leather Mary Janes….platform…very high…white thigh high stockings….very sexy….(uh boy, I digress…!!!)
I felt your seven year old self and the nostalgia for a past that no longer exists. But the sun and the sky are the same, and the light and the smell after summer rain. And no-one can take that away. I miss you!
I live in Vermont. As of yesterday, it was still snowing. Spring has been ridiculously stubborn this year. Today the sun finally shone and the air finally felt warm. I received a gift when I first came downstairs and looked out the kitchen window -three lovely evening grosbeaks at my feeder. After sitting at my desk for a while, the six kids (ages 2-11) came down the road with their mom to visit. Our golden retriever, Sophie started wagging her tail when she saw them way up the road yet. The kids and the dog ran around all over the front yard and the kids had fun walking on the top of the stone wall. I heard my work calling and then remembered to stop working and savor the moment. And it was precious – remembering those first days of spring as a kid and how delightful it was to run and jump and play with a neighbor’s dog without any other cares. Oh the innocence of childhood play!
I loved your post.
I didn’t have anything like that, but I DID have a wonderful conversation. I just got off of the phone with a business associate who I hold in very high regard. Today I shared a bit of my vulnerability as it relates to decisions in business, and guess what! he did too. It was so wonderful to know that this guy, who has it all pulled together, needs to talk through his decisions and trusted me enough to do so as well. I suppose it is because I opened the door to do so, but it was just one of those wonderful moments where you feel connected to people who think like you.
Keep the great posts coming Leanne!